The Fickle Whims of Passion: The Hurt of Betrayal, The Need to Forgive
by Zelenal
Summary: Set during the third movie. Gia contemplates recent events and exactly what effect they have on her and the people around her. Contains no dialog, a lot of introspection, and my interpretation of the many cues the movie gave us.


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except, perhaps, the idea. Do I own the idea? I guess I came up with it but I only followed the ques from the movie. I don't know. Either way, I don't own the characters or the setting which is a good thing since there is no way I could have done as good of a job.

* * *

Gia couldn't believe what had just happened. Her heart had been broken like glass and the shards had torn her to pieces. To have her hopes for the future, her dreams and aspirations, start to be realized in a way that was better than she could have possibly hoped for just to have the very person who had made that possible, the person who had been at or near the center of her attention for some time, to tear them down so quickly was…

How could she have let this happen to her? No, that was a stupid question. She knew very well how, or, perhaps, when, it happened. If she had only listened to the more rational part of her, if only she had listened to Vitaly, then perhaps she could have avoided all of this. Yes. If she hadn't given in to her desires then she wouldn't be in this mess.

But Vitaly would still be in the rut that he had been in since that incident. Maybe- No. He had _used_ her. She was just a means to an end. He didn't care about her. He only cared about his goal. Everything that had happened between them, all of those wonderful moments, they were just lies. To think that she had put her faith in him. To think that she _trusted_ him.

But that faith wasn't necessarily misplaced. After all, they _did_ help them put on an unforgettable- No! What he did was inexcusable! She was not going to let that side of her win out again! Uhg. All of this thinking wasn't doing her any good. She needed to busy herself with something. Packing. She should pack for the trip to America.

* * *

Gia knew of an old saying that, at one point in time, she had put some stalk in but now knew it to be as far from the truth as possible. "Time heals all wounds." How many times has she heard that before? One part of her recognized that if that saying were true then Vitaly would have gotten out of his rut on his own and that, since he didn't, time certainly wouldn't heal her either but one saying that was certainly true was that hindsight is always 20/20.

She had hoped that the boat ride from London to America would give her time to let her wounds heal but, if anything, they only got worse. To think that a trip that she had previously been so excited about was now filling her with dread. She was proud of herself for maintaining a façade, for appearing to be strong and largely unaffected by their betrayal, but she had her suspicions that several of the other animals knew that it was only an act.

During the boat ride, she had spent many long hours in her room pacing the floor as she mulled over her thoughts and feelings. Despite her best wishes and intentions, that one annoying part of her continued to make excuses for him; to defend him. However, she would have none of that and had spent countless hours warring with herself. Despite all that time and effort, she was still at a stalemate and had made no real progress.

At one point, she decided that she just needed a distraction. She needed something to take her mind off of her problems. So she decided to get to work on planning her new act for once they reach America. For a while, it actually worked. Once she got her creativity into gear, coming up with new performances was no brainer. However, it wasn't entirely successful. Each time she came up with a new act, everything would grind to a halt once she started to work on his role in it.

Despite her best wishes and intentions, despite the pain he had caused her, she still couldn't let him go yet.

Eventually, she abandoned her idea of working on her new act. Working on it now was only feeding that annoying part of her so she deemed it best if she just left that alone for the time being and came back to it when she was more focused. Instead, she decided to poke around and see what the others were up to. Perhaps one of the others would have a problem that she could help with that would distract her long enough.

She had no such luck it seemed.

As it was, the dogs where more or less fine and were well underway of creating their new act, the horse sisters (which she could never tell apart, even after all these years) seemed to miss Marty a bit but were more or less fine, the elephants were fine, Sonya was a unintelligible as ever (although she _did_ seem to be as heartbroken as she was, if not more so), and Vitaly had his slips but was pulling through. While she couldn't find Stefano, the others had reported seeing him at various times so she assumed that he was just fine as well and had managed to recover.

Perhaps that saying had some truth to it after all. Perhaps time _does_ heal all wounds. But why was she still hurting after all this time? Was it because she hadn't let go of him yet? But how could she? While she hated him for his betrayal she still… she still…

NO! She would NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES allow herself to admit that! If she admitted that now there was no way she could get over him. Perhaps, the rational side of her started, perhaps the other animals hadn't gotten over it either. Perhaps they were better at hiding it than she was. While that line of reasoning helped her to steel herself, she seriously doubted that it was true. After all, only she had… him. True, Stefano had seemed to have made great friends in them but that was different. That and this were fairly unrelated.

On a whim, her thoughts drifted back to the rehearsal before the London performance. Despite his betrayal, the memory of him teaching her the Trapeze Americano (or rather, made it up, she reminded herself) was still very dear to her. She couldn't remember a time where she had more fun than then and that moment when he caught her as she was about to fall off the platform and he held her so gently as he looked into her eyes…

Well, she had to correct herself on one thing. She could remember a time where she had even more fun than that. It was during the London performance itself. Yes, that was truly a memory that she would treasure for the rest of her life. Vitaly finally regaining his former vigor and jumping through the hoop as it was on fire only set the mood for what followed. The act she had with him was the most fun she had ever had. While the act itself was fun, there was just something about being around him after their practice that filled her with a sort of fire. She couldn't count how many times she had looked over to him only to find him looking back. Perhaps… Perhaps it wasn't such a-

No. She was thankful for the folding screen that was currently hiding her (even if it only further served to remind her of him) as her façade slipped and her expression drooped even as her shoulders slumped. She had to let that memory go. She had to let _him_ go. She had to get her act together both figuratively and literally. While she had no success with latter, she had some success with the former when it came to maintaining her façade.

* * *

Gia suppressed a sigh as she walked through the backstage of the circus. It was finally time for their first show in America but everyone seemed to be slightly offbeat. Even the dogs were more subdued in their own weird way. It seemed that her previous conclusion had been right after all and the others _were_ still hurting but were simply better at hiding it than she was. Or… Maybe… Maybe they were putting on a brave face for her? No. She couldn't really believe that but…

She was already prepared for the show, at least as far as the neon paint accenting her spots was concerned, but she still wasn't entirely sure what her act should be now. Towards the end of their trip to America, she had been forced to accept some truths that were unpleasant in a way. She didn't really even _want_ to do her trapeze act without him. While doing a proper trapeze act with only one person might have been impossible, it's not like they've let the impossible stop them before. You could even say that they, or at least Vitaly, had gone beyond the impossible.

She pushed her problems to the back of her mind when she finally found Stefano. He was ready for his cannon act, at least as far as the zebra stripe neon body paint was concerned, but he certainly wasn't ready for it emotionally. Once again, she found herself questioning one of her earlier conclusions. Perhaps some of the others _were_ hurting just as much as she was.

She placed a paw on Stefano's back as he cried. A part of her had hoped that maybe she could find the words to cheer him up and that those words would cheer her up as well but she knew how absurd such a thought was. Being able to help someone through a problem that you're going through and are nowhere close to solving for yourself is something that only happened in bad stories.

It wasn't long before Vitaly came over to see what was going on. Stefano's words only reaffirmed that he was indeed having the exact same problem as she was. He didn't want to do his act without Marty just as much as she didn't want to do her act without him it seemed. For the first time, she decided to voice her concerns about her act, if not in so many words. Instead of directly saying that she didn't want to do her act without him, she just voiced her displeasure at the thought of going back to her old act. While she had never really been the most open animal when it came to her feelings, she had no desire to admit how much this was affecting her.

Needless to say, Vitaly tried to cheer them up. He said, in essence, that they didn't need those four to make their act spectacular. But, for once, Vitaly's words didn't quite reach her. Despite her best wishes and intentions, she couldn't make herself believe him. She knew, on some level, that any act she could put on without him would just be a pale imitation of what they had. In a way, it would be just like her old act. Just as he said during his first speech, she would just be going through the motions and wouldn't have the passion. Thankfully, Stefano managed to voice her thoughts; if not in so many words.

And for once, Vitaly didn't have anything to say for them. Perhaps he was trying to convince himself as well?

Of course, everything was interrupted as a familiar, if slightly off sounding, voice was heard. They all turned towards the back entrance to the tent to see one of the lemurs stagger in and call for Sonya. What was his name? Julian? She had found that, after she had recognized Julian, her eyes quickly moved back to the entrance, hopeful that he would come in as well, but she had no such luck it seemed.

Turning her attention back the lemur, she found that he was going on about, in essence, how he had been so hung up on what he had, on what he was in the past, that he couldn't see what he had now. It was those words that caused her defenses to ease up as that one annoying part of her let loose with all of its arguments at once. Perhaps he wasn't the only one to have been hung up on what he was in the past. Or… Wait… Had he been?

For the first time in a long while, she found her thoughts turning back to that one moment where everything had changed. But that wasn't quite far back enough. What had he been trying to say before that crazy lady came in? He had been trying to tell her something about not being around much longer. Now she knew what he was talking about but she needed to let herself look past his words. His expression. It was obviously pained beyond belief. Did he even want to return to the zoo at that point? Well obviously he did. Otherwise he wouldn't be there now.

But had they… No. Had she given him a choice? She went back to when she had found out and tried to look past her own emotions during that moment. What had he been feeling? What had he said? Well, he hadn't said much but she didn't really let him talk. She was too shocked, too hurt to even consider what he was trying to say. His expression. It was just as pained as it was when he was about to reveal their original goal himself. No, it had been more so.

And that's when she remembered something else. Amidst answering everyone's questions, he had repeatedly tried to talk directly to her. He had repeatedly tried to explain the situation properly to her. After all, Melman was right. If they hadn't lied about being circus, she wouldn't have been prompted to let them onboard. And now she knew just who, or perhaps "what" would be more appropriate, they had been running from and she knew just what would have happened to him if she hadn't let them onboard.

Why did they return to the zoo? Because they wanted to? No. She didn't think that they wanted to anymore. They returned because they didn't give them a choice. Because _she_ didn't give _him_ a choice. They had been too wrapped up in their feelings, to concerned about what the zoo animals had been, to realize that what they had now was far from fake. For the first time since after the London performance, she entertained a conclusion that she had been fighting with every fiber of her being.

Of course, she was pulled from her thoughts when one of the penguins (Wait, hadn't they been with the zoo animals too?) noticed a dart sticking out of the lemur's tail and deduced that they had been captured by that crazy lady.

No! She would _not_ let that woman hurt him! Naturally she voiced her idea to rescue them but was slightly dismayed, if not surprised, to be met with muttered refusals. It was when one of the horse sisters pointed out that they lied to them that she countered that they were their friends. However, that had been met by one of the dogs countering that they weren't even circus.

And now she was at a loss for words. She needed to find some way to convince them to help. If not then she would just have to try and save them on her own (although she knew that, at the very least, the penguins would help out). There was no way that she was going to leave him to his fate at the hands of that woman.

It was then that Vitaly came forwards with just the words she needed. Sure, it was a lot harsher and more vulgar than she would have said but, judging by everyone's reactions, it had worked. Then, at the lead of the penguins, they began formulating their plan to rescue them.

She wasn't going to leave the one she loved to his fate. She was coming for Alex. She just hoped that he would hang on until she could get there.

* * *

A/N: This is just something I threw together quickly after watching the third movie five time in a 24 hour period (and three times in a row). Though I have no current plans to do so, if enough people want it or if I randomly decide to do it (whatever comes first) I'll go ahead write up the entire movie from Gia's perspective but I will use dialog (unless people want it in the same style as this in which case there won't be any).

Please read and review!


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